Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
