P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm bleeding and have questions
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
