I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
