Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
