I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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