You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
