Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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