I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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