The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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