used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
