Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
