Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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