dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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