Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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