don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
