I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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