Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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