marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
