Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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