Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
