White coat. Heels.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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