i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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