actually, I'm a sock model
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
