i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
