Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
