I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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