My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
