God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
