Please, let me fuck your mom
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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