Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize