woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
