This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
