dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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