She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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