sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
