on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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