I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
