i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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