Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
