Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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