Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
