I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
