are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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