Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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