i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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