That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
