Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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