FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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