He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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