I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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