Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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