Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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