Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
