Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Randomize
