apparently the secret to your success is patron
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
