I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He kissed a someone with a penis
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
