Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

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  (773): Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal http://tfl.nu/usjw
  Replies (29) Good night (21973) Bad night (898)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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  (803): Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning. http://tfl.nu/55ug
  Replies (12) Good night (4429) Bad night (962)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant

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  (705): dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/i402
  Replies (25) Good night (1189) Bad night (10714)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.

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  (440): We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate. http://tfl.nu/v1r2
  Replies (9) Good night (1576) Bad night (4264)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

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  (603): Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ivw8
  Replies (32) Good night (17914) Bad night (1328)
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  (530): View more from California

  Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'

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  (530): Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober' http://tfl.nu/1n5d
  Replies (3) Good night (2779) Bad night (948)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.

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  (724): I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head. http://tfl.nu/4vvd
  Replies (10) Good night (3778) Bad night (875)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.

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  (917): Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'. http://tfl.nu/jzlx
  Replies (12) Good night (830) Bad night (2568)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.

  (206): View more from Washington

  The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!

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  (425): You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy. (206): The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!! http://tfl.nu/5bns
  Replies (8) Good night (1758) Bad night (625)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable

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  (229): Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable http://tfl.nu/1o17
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (974)
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  (858): View more from California

  I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.

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  (858): I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back. http://tfl.nu/eq49
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (721)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.

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  (419): Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies. http://tfl.nu/geoh
  Replies (13) Good night (1246) Bad night (454)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.

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  (616): Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah. http://tfl.nu/bo14
  Replies (6) Good night (735) Bad night (383)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.

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  (518): He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard. http://tfl.nu/suwu
  Replies (6) Good night (287) Bad night (627)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, I found your gauge.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.

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  (570): Also, I found your gauge. (570): I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy. http://tfl.nu/i63l
  Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (394)

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