census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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