Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

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  (630): oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican. (310): ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated. http://tfl.nu/5wsv
  Replies (12) Good night (740) Bad night (1015)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie

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  (941): I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie http://tfl.nu/ovq9
  Replies (16) Good night (1024) Bad night (1528)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk

  (678): View more from Georgia

  discrete masterbation is a lost art

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  (770): Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk (678): discrete masterbation is a lost art http://tfl.nu/z067
  Replies (32) Good night (787) Bad night (2826)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  his personality makes his face look like an asshole.

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  (360): his personality makes his face look like an asshole. http://tfl.nu/0gwl
  Replies (14) Good night (955) Bad night (3245)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

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  (802): Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation? http://tfl.nu/9fzj
  Replies (7) Good night (3332) Bad night (873)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.

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  (484): We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break. http://tfl.nu/ezuj
  Replies (9) Good night (4092) Bad night (763)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid

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  (306): How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid http://tfl.nu/1mq4
  Replies (9) Good night (1114) Bad night (4642)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.

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  (541): I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples. http://tfl.nu/kf5x
  Replies (17) Good night (3932) Bad night (1090)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.

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  (609): That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night. http://tfl.nu/lop5
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (1152)
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  (619): View more from California

  Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it

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  (619): Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it http://tfl.nu/st9u
  Replies (5) Good night (1179) Bad night (602)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

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  (304): The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them http://tfl.nu/pyf8
  Replies (10) Good night (622) Bad night (1202)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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  (202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g
  Replies (18) Good night (787) Bad night (1104)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

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  (902): In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts. http://tfl.nu/zdfo
  Replies (3) Good night (1208) Bad night (409)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

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  (907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!

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  (612): Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas! http://tfl.nu/ggjg
  Replies (6) Good night (875) Bad night (340)

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