Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.

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  (612): Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing. http://tfl.nu/z54y
  Replies (15) Good night (839) Bad night (6978)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

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  (703): I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone. http://tfl.nu/c91d
  Replies (4) Good night (2554) Bad night (1144)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.

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  (862): It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy. http://tfl.nu/1k8y
  Replies (7) Good night (5302) Bad night (942)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?

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  (443): The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help? http://tfl.nu/pqdk
  Replies (7) Good night (828) Bad night (2590)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

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  (313): Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker http://tfl.nu/hydd
  Replies (12) Good night (3053) Bad night (2846)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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  (360): Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised. http://tfl.nu/xha6
  Replies (45) Good night (2070) Bad night (4003)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before

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  (678): Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before http://tfl.nu/x76s
  Replies (10) Good night (1067) Bad night (2857)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.

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  (515): I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises. http://tfl.nu/86bb
  Replies (5) Good night (760) Bad night (1669)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.

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  (604): There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop. http://tfl.nu/phgu
  Replies (7) Good night (2767) Bad night (1262)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"

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  (732): The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out" http://tfl.nu/fcdr
  Replies (5) Good night (1167) Bad night (2119)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety

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  (+61): On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety http://tfl.nu/7rit
  Replies (9) Good night (2793) Bad night (674)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  You eat cookies in the shower?

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  (608): BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie. (1-608): You eat cookies in the shower? http://tfl.nu/pj2d
  Replies (10) Good night (3370) Bad night (632)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities

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  (646): Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities http://tfl.nu/7b3i
  Replies (4) Good night (940) Bad night (526)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?

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  (780): Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night? http://tfl.nu/co1o
  Replies (0) Good night (667) Bad night (349)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time

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  (856): and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time http://tfl.nu/kr7x
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (368)

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