Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!