First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
my liver is dry heaving
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
