Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
