So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize