do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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