I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
