i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
