I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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